Hi Matt - I know your pretty thourough but just to rule out does your test system meet the prerequisites as detailed at
http://help.sap.com/saphelp_nwidmic72/helpdata/en/6e/
8de34cb780494c9ac4a8178274589e/content.htm?frameset=/en/f2/
14244e0fe24ba3a230f2613c477999/frameset.htm
Rest Interface 2.0 is also required.
Cheers,
Chris